[Arabic Poem] The Awakening of my mind (Translated) - [صواح نهيتي]

 

 فِي مَهْزَلَةِ الْأَقْدَارِ، رُزِقْتُ بِالْحَيَاةِ حِينَ فَقَدتُهَا،

عِنْدَ اسْتِسْلَامِي وَذُبُولِ أَمَلي، مَا وَجَدْتُ نَفْسِي، بَلْ وُجِدَتْ الرَّاحَة.

عُقِدَ عَزْمِي، لُمَّمَ شَمْلِي، وَمَا أَصْبَحْتُ كَمَا أَضْحَيتُ،

فِي اللَّيْلَةِ الَّتِي ظَنَنْتُ أَنَّنِي لَنْ أُصْبِحَ، أَصْبَحْتُ! وَبِوَقَاحَه.

تَرَكتُ غَمِّي هَمِّي بَئْسِي وَسَعَادَتِي،

سَعَادَتُكِ حَضرَةَ نَفْسِي لَنْ تَلِيقَ بِكِ سَعَادَه، بَلْ مَايَلزَمُكِ الْإِرَاحَه.

رَاحَه! رَاحَةٌ وَجَدْتُهَا، وَسَلَامٌ سَلَامٌ مِنْ مَنْبَعِ الْمُقِرِّ بِالْوُجُود،

لِثِقَلِ الْكَلِمَاتِ خِفَّةُ عَقْلٍ، وَلِخِفَّةِ عَقلٍ عَقْلٌ كُلَّ شَيْءٍ أَبَاحَ.

لَتَرَاني أَتَرَنَّحُ بَيْنَ ذِي قَبْلٍ وَمَا بَعْدَ وَمَا بَيْنَ... بِتَأَنٍّ، بِهُدُوءٍ،

إِنذِثَارٌ إِنبِعَاثٌ مَا البَونُ بَيْنَهُمَا؟ وَبَونُهُمَا ذَاتَ صَبَاحٍ نُهَيَّتِي أَصَاحَ.

كَالْوَحْي الَّذِي رُوِيَ أَنَّهُ يُوحَى مِنَ الْعَدِيمِ إلَى الْمُنْبَعِثِ مِنَ الْعَدَمِ،

تَفَتَّحَتْ أَبْوَابُ الدُّنْيَا الدَّانِيَة وَبوعدٍ مِمَّنْ كَانَ الْمُؤْنِسَ هَمُّ مَا أَعْلَاهَا أَزَاحَ.

لَيْسَ بِسُرُورٍ وَلَا بِبَهْجَةٍ، لَا مِنْ قَبِيلِ جَزَعٍ وَلَا غَمٍّ،

يَعْجِزُ مِنْطِيقي أَنْ يَنْطِقَ بِمَا سَنَامي، وَبِتَسَاوِي الْكَفَّتَيْنِ السَّلَامَ أُتِيحَ.

مَا بَلَغْتُهُ؟ الْوَقَار، وَقَارٌ مِنْ نَفْسِي مِنْ مَّنْ ظَنَنتُ أَنَّهُمْ هُمْ،

مَا عَقَدتُ عَلَيْهِ عَزْمِي وَمَنْ ظَنَنْتُ أَنَّهُ هُو، مَا رَأَيْتُ بَعْدَهُ أَنَّهُ السَّرَاب حَوْل الْوَاحَة.

Translation:

In the farce of fate, I was granted life when I had lost it,

In my surrender and the fading of my hope, I did not find myself; rather, peace was found.

My will was bound, my pieces gathered, and I am no longer who I once was,

On the night I thought I wouldn't see the morning, I rose—defiantly.

I left behind my sorrow, my grief, my misery, and my joy,

Your Highness, dear self, happiness doesn't suit you, but instead you need relief.

Relief! I found it, and peace—peace that flows from those who decide existence,

For the weight of words, there is a lightness of mind, and in that lightness, everything is laid bare.

You see me swaying between what was, what is, and what lies between… patiently, quietly,

What difference between destruction and resurrection? Yet, their difference one day awakened my mind.

Like a revelation said to be delivered from the void to the one who emerged from the void,

The doors of the lowly world opened, and with a promise from the one who eased the burden, all that was above it from issues was lifted.

Not with joy or with delight, nor out of panic or sorrow,

My speech falters at expressing what my peak holds, but in the balance, peace was granted.

What did I achieve? Dignity—dignity from myself, from those I once thought were them,

What I set my heart on, and who I thought he was, turned out to be mirages surrounding the oasis.